Corn Tortillas Changed My Life

You don't understand how deprived I've been. Since the end of October, I've been on a diet and lost 25 pounds (I'd better here a cheer go up here...). The weight loss is the up side, but I've eaten enough grilled chicken and eggbeaters to choke a horse. I've chosen certain veggies, certain fruits, certain protein bars, certain protein shakes and certain milk. I've measured my water intake, consumed volumes of vitamins and supplements with kelp and folic acid. I've measured ounces and teaspoons, bought the right spritzer salad dressing and avoided natural sugars I always considered diet food - like carrots, onions and red grapes. I've kept daily food journals and even taken an "inner diet" psychological test that told me I am a stress eater (big news - they could have paid ME to tell them that).

So you can imagine my joy when I learned something new while meeting with a "fat counselor" recently. I've never seen her before or since so I am convinced this woman was an angel. I walked in for my regular conference and she asked me what I missed most on the diet. I told her I really miss salty things - pretzels, popcorn, chips, crackers. She replied, "Don't you eat salted corn tortillas " What? You mean I can toast a corn tortilla and salt it with my approved Morton's Lite Salt? "You can even spray them with Parkay Spray-on butter and you can have two at a time if you buy the right kind. And you can have them at all three meals."

Did the rapture come because I think I'm in heaven! I didn't know about fat-free spray-on butter and I certainly didn't know about salted tortillas. The counselor went on, "And three mornings a week, you can put low-fat mozzarella cheese on them." You're kidding. I sat there stunned. I felt like a drug addict that had just been told that cocaine won't hurt you. I had to get to Publix, and fast.

Some days are all about gaining spiritual insights and some days are simply about corn tortillas.