Torture Chamber for A.D.D.

I must have ADD. I can't sit still in a movie without getting bored, so I don't go. I hate to waste time, so I multi-task. I even feel guilty if I sit still doing nothing. I thrive on being productive.

That being said, you can imagine what jury duty does for me. Today, I sat. And sat. And sat. I was crammed into a room with so many people that we could hardly move (special thanks to the court system for propagating the flu and cold viruses in Cobb County, by the way). The rows of chairs were placed so close to each other that when someone wanted out, the whole row had to empty into the aisle. Kind of like being on an airplane - but without the view. Or the cushioned seats. Or the movie.

I'm a networker - a socializer. The woman to my left sat stoically, listening to her ipod and staring straight forward with intensity. I tried to imagine what she could possibly be listening to that would make her so immovable and unsociable! The woman to the right of me sat hunched over her phone, texting everyone in her contact list for hours. I tried to be sure she knew I wasn't peaking at her messages (I tried, but the type was too small), but she made sure by dropping her long hair down over her phone. Subtle.

Knowing myself as I do, I had chosen a seat on the front row by the doorway. I really should say it was almost IN the door like a last minute decision to cram another row in there. I was prepared in case I had to bolt. At least I had the advantage of being entertained by each person who had to come and go to the bathroom.

The highlight of the day was being sworn in by Judge Watson White - who cracked jokes about being age 87 and only assigned really short trials... just in case.

But, I had options to keep myself entertained. There were 5 computers in the back of the room for public use. No, I thought. Major flu virus host. There were magazines in racks on the walls. I was sure every page was covered in germs. I took my own water and book, but I was too disinterested to even try to read. I wrote some advertising copy for a client, but that was complete by 9:15. I had time to write an entire British novel (for those of you not into literature - those are known to be unusually lengthy. I call it "the thud factor". It makes a big sound when you drop it on a table and people think you must be smart for reading it. Thank goodness for Cliff Notes - but how I got through a minor in English Lit is for another blog).

Back to the jury room.

The final blow was receiving a handout asking me if I wanted to donate my big $25 juror fee to a Cobb charity, like the animal shelter. Are you kidding me? You want me to take this torture for free? The dogs and cats in the animal shelter have more room to move than I did - and they get to eat in their space! Sheeesh!

Hey, I'm all for helping animals, but I'm trying to make enough money to send my child to college next year and instead of being out trying to make a consulting fee, I'm sequestered in a hot room with hundreds of people coughing and sniffing. I want my $25! I'm going to need it to pay my doctor's visit deductible.