Letting Go

I'm not good at it. I never have been. I don't let go easily and I don't give up. I keep churning things over in my mind and thinking of ways not to let go. But I have to now.

My baby is going off to college... in another state. I won't know where she is, who she's with or what she's doing. I won't be there to remind her to study, remind her of appointments, remind her to get gas for her car or remind her to eat properly. She's going to make mistakes. I did. I just hope they are minor ones.

I've been praying a lot. And yet, it's still difficult to release my daughter and go to a position of total trust. I suspect kids going off to college is as much about the Lord working in the parents' lives as it is about working in the children.

And I have a lot to learn.

The Happiest Sad Day

Our family just climbed out of the pool after a day of grilling out and relaxing together. Seeing my husband play in the water with his darling grandson was such a blessing this year. Our baby boy has blessed us all and this first Father's Day for my son-in-love was wonderful to observe.

Last night, I wrote a tribute to my dad for an academic web site where his career is to be highlighted. Daddy died 22 years ago this month and I recently surprised myself by crying over his death again. I'm always amazed that the grief is still so close to the surface after all of this time. And yet, when I consider how much I loved him - and still do - it makes sense. He was very relational, witty, smart, loving and unconditional in that love. He taught me how to adore my children because he adored me. I learned so many valuable character traits from his life and I had the privilege of being a student in his university class. He was an unusually gifted teacher - always well prepared and inspirational. Whether he was teaching me a new word at the dinner table (no wonder I became a wordsmith!) or teaching me how to sing, he was diligent and patient and ever the teacher. He never let a teachable moment slip through his hands.

One thing he said to me many times - and repeated in class - was "the world is full of mediocrity and you don't need to add to it." Throughout my life, people have told me I am an over-achiever. On this Father's Day, I am thinking about the fact that I have come so far because I had a Dad who challenged me to set high standards and attain them. I've had a loving family, successful career, volunteered in ministry and gathered an array of trusted friends, coworkers and family members who have blessed my life.

I'm not mediocre, Dad. Thanks.

In a good place

The changes in our lives are sinking in. Bob is home full-time now, off for the summer if he doesn't go back to teaching halftime in the fall. Otherwise, he'll look for another job opportunity to help pay that college tuition for Ellen. He's enjoying projects in our pool house (like putting a stucco-like covering on the walls) and being productive at home. I'm working part-time and able to help contribute to the family income while spending time with Bob and my kids - and grandson! That is a wonderful experience that warms my heart. Elle is feeling better and working to make college money. She seems happy and healthy. Spiritually, we're all seeking the Lord for what's next in our journey. But we trust him.

Sometimes, I just feel good about life. Blessed. Like now.

The Week that Was...

In the past 6 days, Ellen graduated, we hosted a big graduation party, Ann turned 27 and we celebrated with dinner and gifts, we all attended the 3-day/night revival at the Cobb Civic Center, I worked for several clients, Bob retired on Wednesday and had a luncheon on Tuesday, and we hosted 22 new moms at a pool party at our house. Whew!

Research states that change triggers stress... even if it's good change. Well, we've had lots of change this week and yet it's rather exciting. We have no idea what God has in store for the future, but we know He is good and He is faithful. Bob is looking for a second career and we are busy preparing to move Elle to University of Alabama in August. We are facing the empty nest with hesitation and anticipation.

In some ways, it seems odd that God would take us through so much transition at this time of life. Yet we all face these changes and we learn to trust Him with a new segment of our journey. What's next? We don't know. But we do know who knows. And we're OK with that.

Exhaling

Elle graduated Saturday, thanks to a series of wonderful works from the Father over a period of time. Most recently, she was struggling in algebra and we all felt such a hopelessness about the prospects of graduating. Then God brought us an amazing solution and she made a B. As we celebrated her graduation on Saturday, Bob and I sat in disbelief as we talked about how God showed up and brought us to this point. In so many ways, He's been faithful.

Then many friends and family stopped by to congratulate Elle... and the warmth of our home, filled with people who love us and whom we love, was overwhelming. Again, God showed up and blessed us with the wonder of Christian community.

A Tribute to Teachers

We went to the Cobb County Teacher Retirement Luncheon this week. My husband is retiring and I wanted us to enjoy this recognition occasion. When we pulled into the parking lot, I couldn't help but notice the modest cars being exited by nicely dressed people in conservative attire. My heart was warmed by the realization that each of these 209 teachers had given a lifetime of service and were now being honored with a chicken dinner and a plaque, gifts that were tiny tokens of the enormous respect due for what had been accomplished in thousands of lives. Their service totaled more than 5,450 years. What an investment in educating our children.

I never felt more pride for my husband. He's the finest teacher I know and full of intelligence and creativity. He served 30 years in Cobb and another 4 in Marietta City, influencing thousands of young people. He has been a sponsor for Fellowship of Christian Athletes for 30 years too - and that ministry has had a high impact. He has accomplished much, and done it well. His service has been his ministry.

It was surreal to sit there and realize it's over. We don't feel old enough to be retiring and we anticipate many useful years ahead. Yet we believe God is calling us to something new. We're eager to find out what's next.

In the meantime, I am so deeply grateful to have spent my life as a teacher's wife.

Speeding Toward the Finish Line

When your child graduates from high school, it's a huge accomplishment... for the parents. I read today that having young children is physically demanding, but having teenagers is emotionally demanding. Amen, sista!

Perhaps the greatest pressure comes from the culture of these teenagers. If your child is in the midst of a generation obsessed with drinking, drugs, sexual immorality and lack of morals, you might think that sounds like every other generation. I can tell you that it's not. This group of "children" face more of everything than any generation in the past... more STDs, more AIDS, more binge drinking, more promiscuity, more drug addiction, more profanity... just more of everything.

And less of Jesus.

Sure, there are a few kids who have held on spiritually. But they are swimming up stream and need our support. And the kids swimming down stream need it even more. My husband and I are more convinced than ever that our call is to help young people. It's always been that way, but the need is more desperate now. An entire segment of our culture has shifted to the world.

So as I face the finish line of one part of life - and a sense of relief to have made it - I am also facing the starting line of another four years. And to combat the stress of thinking about that journey, I am looking up. I am focusing on the Lord and His amazing power to sustain my child. I am asking Him to get us all to the next finish line. And more than that, to get us there successfully. With Him.