And..... we're back!

I'm shocked. I love to write more than anything, but I took a longer break than I ever expected. But 18 months later, I'm back.

Now we have another little boy in the family. He'll be one on Nov. 9 and has changed our lives in such a beautiful way. He never stops smiling. He has joy and he brings joy!

In other news, I took a fulltime job with MUST Ministries and love it there. Bob took a fulltime job at Devereux Psychiatric Treatment Facility and is grateful to have a teaching position. My toddler grandson turned 3 and Ellen got a house in Tuscaloosa. She and Will are still together and enjoying their lives in Alabama. Brent and Ann live with us - and their two boys - so we have a busy household. They've been here 14 months, so we've been blessed to watch the baby grow and develop since Day 1 of his precious life. They now own a video and photography studio - ZOOMA STUDIOS - and are trusting God to grow their business.

In just a few short sentences, that's our life update in the past 18 months. Obviously, that's the broad brushstroke. Lots of other things have happened, but let's move forward. I'll post again soon and enjoy capturing my thoughts in a blog again.

A True Mother's Day

I wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary. Our family was going to church, then meeting for lunch to celebrate Mother's Day. I was looking forward to being with my mom and kids - and my precious toddler grandson who lights up my life.

After opening some cards and gifts, my oldest daughter handed out special, hand-made cards. My youngest got hers open first, making a remark that she isn't a mom and didn't know why SHE got a card. Then she burst into tears. I mean real tears of genuine emotion. Mom and I immediately teared up in sympathy with her tears, but we didn't understand what was happening. We looked at our cards and saw a beautiful picture of my grandson, wearing a t-shirt that said, "I'm the Big Brother." Then it hit me.

Another addition to the Clan is on the way! I felt overwhelmed with excitement and anticipation. Then I learned that the due date is Nov. 19 - not so far away! My daughter had kept the news a secret to share on Mother's Day and she was already entering her second trimester. All I could think of was the holidays - what will Thanksgiving and Christmas be like this year? Wow!

Most of all, I felt blessed. Being a mother and grandmother are at the very core of who I am. It's funny because when I was younger, I was such a career and goal-oriented person that I wasn't sure I'd be focused on motherhood. I certainly had no idea that God called me to motherhood as surely as He called me to be Bob's wife.

And the only thing more amazing than being a mother? Being a grandmother. My little "Bear" calls me "Kiki". I've decided that name is right up there with "Mom".

Entertaining Strangers

The Bible tells us to be hospitable to strangers, but in this day and time, few people are willing to risk taking that command literally. I know I hesitate to put myself or my family in harm's way and I am married to someone who anticipates every possible negative thing that could happen. He is "Mr. Safety" - according to my children - and I tend to agree!

But something happened recently to move us outside our comfort zone. We were at the beach and had walked a long way to see a public pavilion with an unusual architecture. Bob decided to step away for a minute and I stood in the main area, watching as some college guys sat studying. I commented that they must not be on spring break if they had to study, but they assured me they were - making a tour on their vacation from Indiana University. I noticed they had Bibles, journals and Christian books when they pointed out my UGA shirt and asked what sites they should see when the visited their next stop, Atlanta. Bob walked back up. I asked where they would be staying so I could recommend some convenient sites and they hesitated a bit, looking at each other as if to say, "Should we tell her?"

"We're sleeping in our car," one of them offered. "Not in Atlanta, you're not," I shot back. I can't help it. I am everyone's mother. They had mentioned visiting the aquarium and I explained that the downtown area is not a safe place to sleep in your car. They assured me they'd be fine, but Bob and I made eye contact. We had to help these guys.

"Would you like to stay at our house?" I asked. "That would be great!" they said immediately. And with that, we had 4 college guys set to follow us back to Atlanta that night and stay in our home for a couple of nights.

Oddly enough, Bob and I didn't feel frightened. We felt excited. We were going to get to use our gift of hospitality and get to know new people in the family of God. We felt like the Lord had sent us way down the beach to find these guys. And I had on my UGA shirt, which I seldom wear, so they knew where we were from and could ask about Atlanta.

The next few days turned out to be wonderful. We had in-depth conversations into the wee morning hours and shared some great times. We even made S'mores over a fire and sang songs. We became fast friends with these terrific boys and had such a peace that God brought us all together.

It was a blessing to have college students in our home again. We miss our own college daughter and her friends hanging out here all the time - but God gave us an opportunity to fill that longing for those relationships. It was a rare experience of extending hospitality to strangers, yet it became more of a blessing to us than to them. And those strangers became friends.

The Cussing Prayer

Among my Christian friends, it's not uncommon for someone to speak up in agreement when someone else is praying aloud. Sometimes, someone will say, "Yes, Lord!" or "Come, Lord Jesus" for instance. In all of my years of praying, I've never been interrupted with any comment too surprising.... until now.

Bob and I were on our way to the beach for our 35th anniversary and we were literally driving on fumes, frantically searching south Alabama for an exit with a gas station. We practically coasted into a station, pumped the gas and both went inside to pay, just to stretch our legs a bit. While we were standing at the counter, a young man (19) staggered up to us and said, "Call 911. I'm having a heart attack!" and he dropped to the floor. He was trembling, pale, sweating and his heart was racing.

While the attendant went to the phone, Bob and I hovered over the patient, asking him some basic health questions (remember, Bob is a health teacher, CPR instructor and first aid instructor). Then Bob said, "Do you mind if we pray for you?" and the guy (we now knew his name was Chris) said, "No, go ahead."

Bob and I started praying and as we did, Chris started interjecting. But this time, it was different.
"Lord, we ask you to come now and heal Chris."
"Oh Sh**!"
"We ask you, Lord, to bring him a peace and a calm."
"CRAP!"
"Come as the Great Physician and bring your healing touch right now."
"Sh**! Sh**!"
"And let him know he is in your care. You're here. You sent us here to help. You're in control."
"Oh God!"
(at least he was getting closer...)

As I stood there, I mused, "If I thought I was dying, would I be screaming out profanities through a prayer?" Seemed like an odd way to meet Jesus.

But the reality is, Chris had no clue. He didn't understand spiritual things, so he didn't even understand how damning his situation was. Why should I be surprised when an "unregenerated soul" acts like one?

We finally got through to him that Bob was a CPR instructor and was right there to help if he needed it before the ambulance arrived. We told him that God sent us to that spot at that time to help him. He said that WAS a coincidence! And we said, "No, that was God sending us to you." The light went on. He agreed with us and felt somewhat relieved he was in capable hands until "real" help arrived. Believe me, when the volunteer rescue team from Fort Deposit, Alabama arrived, I realized Chris had been in better hands with my husband! The medic put the blood pressure cuff around Chris' elbow. Yeah.... scary.

Anyway, it was an experience to remember. It really made us think. We just hope it made Chris think too. A lot.

The Coral Anniversary

Did you know that the theme for a 35th wedding anniversary is CORAL? Yeah.... me either. My smart husband knew, however, and he came home last night with lovely coral-colored flowers and a singing card. The card plays "I only have eyes for you...." a song you would only know if you've been married as long as we have. But it was sweet because the picture on the card showed a couple on the beach, and Bob's taking me to the beach next week. He also suggested we find (or buy) a piece of coral to bring home and keep to commemorate our 35 years.

All of that is to say that the thoughtfulness of finding out the right theme, matching the flowers to the theme, writing a sweet love note in the card, finding a card of the beach and so on shows effort. And that's all most women want. We want to know someone thought of us. A lot. We want to know someone made an effort on our behalf. It's not about extravagance.

Sometimes feeling loved is just about getting the right color flowers.

35 Valentine's

Today, my husband pointed out that we are about to celebrate our 35th Valentine's Day. I immediately searched my memory for the traditional 35th Valentine's Day gift and I believe it's diamonds. At least that's what I've heard....

But besides the diamonds, it really is a significant number of celebrations. It made me realize how blessed I am to have had the same man love me unconditionally for so long. He has been thoughtful and humble. He has been concerned about me and helpful. He has been consistently in love with me - and vice versa.

What I don't know is where the years went. Some of them I don't even remember. Fewer and fewer details are clear. I don't remember specific dates of some events and I have to stop and think about what years we lives in what house.

What I DO know is that Bob has always loved me, since the day we met in college. And I know that's rare and precious. I am also certain it is God's gift to me. We have never had a major fight. We have seldom disagreed. We have always been best friends. And we always will be.

Happy Valentine's Day, Sweetie. I look forward to many more.

How to Face 2009

Last year was a trying time - the loss of my fulltime job, my husband's retirement, my daughter going off to college, my other daughter learning motherhood, and more. This year, very little has changed in my situation. I feel like I'm drifting a bit and I am wondering why? It's time to press in and find out...

Prov. 2 says He will give you guidance IF you do certain things:
v. 1 - accept my words
store up my commands
v.2 - listen to wisdom
apply your heart to understanding
v.3 - call out for insight
cry aloud for understanding
v. 4 - look for understanding
search for it like hidden treasure

Promise in v. 5: THEN you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. Wow. Wouldn't that be something! I WANT divine understanding and knowledge!

I haven't understood a lot lately. I haven't seen the big picture. But now I get it. I haven't done the "Ifs" to get the "THEN". I have to do verse 1-4 to get to verse 5. What I've done has been too superficial. Searching for it like hidden treasure takes a deeper level of pursuit.

God wants the IF to mold me and give me the character to find the "then" - the promise. I want the "THEN" without the "IF".

Maybe you're there too? Let's put the "IF" in 2009. The "THEN" is worth it.

Deadheading

My dark pink "Knockout" roses around the swimming pool fence are amazing. They bloom for months and make the whole back yard alive with color. They grow large and quickly, producing several buds on the end of one stem.

I was pruning them this week, standing in the beautiful fall sunshine and noticing how many roses were yet to bloom in November. When you cut a dead flower off the shrub, it's called "deadheading". The whole point is to get rid of the dead flower so a live one can grow in it's place. The more you prune, the more the roses multiply.

There's a spiritual analogy here (and God used the whole pruning thing in the Bible) that really hit me this week. We have to get rid of the "dead" in our lives to blossom with new life, but there is also a period of "nothing"... that time between the dead and the live. You can't see the new growth, but it's coming. And it's going to be beautiful when it arrives.

Sometimes I feel dead and sometimes I feel alive, but a lot of life is that in between time... when growth is happening, but you can't see it. Maybe you can't even feel it. You wonder if God's at work. You wonder if He cares that you just got pruned back and it hurt. You wonder if He's going to let the whole branch just die - or restore it with even more blooms.

I've lived longer than a lot of you and I can tell you the answer. He's going to restore it with even more blooms. The Bible is true. God is a restorer. He's a multiplier (ever notice he doesn't add? He multiplies!). He uses the time from cutting off to breaking forth. He strengthens us then. We wait. And then we see the beauty. And it's worth it.

The 7th Quirk

I forgot something. And it's important. Like a really big deal important.

I HATE THE BURGER KING MAN!

No, seriously. He is a creepster. And I'm not alone. Being in the advertising and marketing industry, I get professional journals and one of them recently listed the most hated company icons. Burger King Man rated right near the top. Had I voted, he would have been first because I would have voted over and over until he won.

If I see him on TV before going to sleep, I have to watch something else to take his image out of my brain. If I don't, I can imagine his huge plastic face peering into my bedroom window. I would have horrible dreams.

And the commercial where he's in bed with someone? My worst nightmare. I am not kidding. If I woke up and rolled over to see that, it would be the last face I see before I see the face of Jesus. I'd have a heart attack and go on to my reward. And trust me, I'd be right next to the throne for my trouble. Anyone who wakes up with the Burger King Man and dies from shock would have God's deep sympathy and be ushered right to the throne.

How do I know this? Jesus hates the Burger King Man too. He gives Kings a bad name.

My 6 Quirks

Only 6? I'm sure I have more! But, my daughter tagged me to post 6, so here goes:

1. I don't know why, but when I eat snacks (pretzels, peanuts, grapes, etc.), I always take an even number. Yep. Give me 2. If I get 3, I have to take another. It's weird, I know.
2. I never step on sidewalk cracks. The proverbial breaking of my mother's back is a deep-seated fear. And it applies to painted parking stripes too, btw.
3. Can't stand to leave trash in my car. If there is a cup, a wrapper, a straw cover... it goes in when I do. Period.
4. NO ONE can write in my Bible or my notebooks or on my stuff but ME! I hate for anyone else to mark on my things. My husband has horrible handwriting and I think this started when he began "booggering up" my stuff with his crummy penmanship. He now puts all of my papers in a file and scrawls my name across the file (so I have to throw it away after I clean it out, of course) because if he writes my name on my papers, I hate it. He'll use a red pen or something ugly and mark on something decent and then it's ruined. Can't take it. So, now I am ultra protective of my stuff. No one mark on it or you are toast.
5. My counters are a quirk. I wipe them down constantly. No crumbs, no stains. If you clean the kitchen and don't wipe down the counters, you didn't clean the kitchen!
6. The "no toilet paper panic" quirk: if you're ever trapped in a horrible crisis and can't find any toilet paper, call me. I have some. I'm sure of it. No matter when it is, I have extra rolls in my house. I must have been through some kind of toilet paper roll outage as a child because now I want to make sure I don't run out. I store it in every bathroom and always have a huge supply from Costco's in the closet. I'm set. I don't have to worry.

There are others - like keeping a glass of ice water nearby at all times so I never get thirsty (and it helps my diet) - but you already think I'm weird enough. If you only knew....

The empty, full, empty nest

Marriage is an interesting journey we each experience. The bookends are empty nests. The part in the middle is full of children, school work, activities, sports and family events.

There are some great things about being at the "second bookend" of life. We are right where we were when we got married - time together, no demands on our time, no race to get home at night, no bedtimes... Such a shift in our thinking. It's hard to believe that we can actually do whatever we want to now. Stay up late, skip a meal, eat any time, sleep in, do less laundry and not worry about homework deadlines. That part is wonderful.

What is also wonderful is realizing we are still best friends. We love being together, even it's just "being".

Adjusting to the Empty Nest

I wait for her car to drive up the driveway at night, but it doesn't. I listen for the door to open after she gets off work, but it doesn't. I look to see if my bed fills up with teenage girls on Friday nights, laughing and talking about the game... it doesn't.

Some days feel so quiet. Most days. The daily news of who dates whom and who called and who is coming over and who is meeting at Starbuck's doesn't come either.

I like not having to get anyone to school in the mornings, not doing as much laundry, not worrying about fixing healthy meals (or pizza!)... but I'd take all of that to have her back here with me.

She is so happy now. And I'm truly happy for her. But I miss her.

Letting Go

I'm not good at it. I never have been. I don't let go easily and I don't give up. I keep churning things over in my mind and thinking of ways not to let go. But I have to now.

My baby is going off to college... in another state. I won't know where she is, who she's with or what she's doing. I won't be there to remind her to study, remind her of appointments, remind her to get gas for her car or remind her to eat properly. She's going to make mistakes. I did. I just hope they are minor ones.

I've been praying a lot. And yet, it's still difficult to release my daughter and go to a position of total trust. I suspect kids going off to college is as much about the Lord working in the parents' lives as it is about working in the children.

And I have a lot to learn.

The Happiest Sad Day

Our family just climbed out of the pool after a day of grilling out and relaxing together. Seeing my husband play in the water with his darling grandson was such a blessing this year. Our baby boy has blessed us all and this first Father's Day for my son-in-love was wonderful to observe.

Last night, I wrote a tribute to my dad for an academic web site where his career is to be highlighted. Daddy died 22 years ago this month and I recently surprised myself by crying over his death again. I'm always amazed that the grief is still so close to the surface after all of this time. And yet, when I consider how much I loved him - and still do - it makes sense. He was very relational, witty, smart, loving and unconditional in that love. He taught me how to adore my children because he adored me. I learned so many valuable character traits from his life and I had the privilege of being a student in his university class. He was an unusually gifted teacher - always well prepared and inspirational. Whether he was teaching me a new word at the dinner table (no wonder I became a wordsmith!) or teaching me how to sing, he was diligent and patient and ever the teacher. He never let a teachable moment slip through his hands.

One thing he said to me many times - and repeated in class - was "the world is full of mediocrity and you don't need to add to it." Throughout my life, people have told me I am an over-achiever. On this Father's Day, I am thinking about the fact that I have come so far because I had a Dad who challenged me to set high standards and attain them. I've had a loving family, successful career, volunteered in ministry and gathered an array of trusted friends, coworkers and family members who have blessed my life.

I'm not mediocre, Dad. Thanks.

In a good place

The changes in our lives are sinking in. Bob is home full-time now, off for the summer if he doesn't go back to teaching halftime in the fall. Otherwise, he'll look for another job opportunity to help pay that college tuition for Ellen. He's enjoying projects in our pool house (like putting a stucco-like covering on the walls) and being productive at home. I'm working part-time and able to help contribute to the family income while spending time with Bob and my kids - and grandson! That is a wonderful experience that warms my heart. Elle is feeling better and working to make college money. She seems happy and healthy. Spiritually, we're all seeking the Lord for what's next in our journey. But we trust him.

Sometimes, I just feel good about life. Blessed. Like now.

The Week that Was...

In the past 6 days, Ellen graduated, we hosted a big graduation party, Ann turned 27 and we celebrated with dinner and gifts, we all attended the 3-day/night revival at the Cobb Civic Center, I worked for several clients, Bob retired on Wednesday and had a luncheon on Tuesday, and we hosted 22 new moms at a pool party at our house. Whew!

Research states that change triggers stress... even if it's good change. Well, we've had lots of change this week and yet it's rather exciting. We have no idea what God has in store for the future, but we know He is good and He is faithful. Bob is looking for a second career and we are busy preparing to move Elle to University of Alabama in August. We are facing the empty nest with hesitation and anticipation.

In some ways, it seems odd that God would take us through so much transition at this time of life. Yet we all face these changes and we learn to trust Him with a new segment of our journey. What's next? We don't know. But we do know who knows. And we're OK with that.

Exhaling

Elle graduated Saturday, thanks to a series of wonderful works from the Father over a period of time. Most recently, she was struggling in algebra and we all felt such a hopelessness about the prospects of graduating. Then God brought us an amazing solution and she made a B. As we celebrated her graduation on Saturday, Bob and I sat in disbelief as we talked about how God showed up and brought us to this point. In so many ways, He's been faithful.

Then many friends and family stopped by to congratulate Elle... and the warmth of our home, filled with people who love us and whom we love, was overwhelming. Again, God showed up and blessed us with the wonder of Christian community.

A Tribute to Teachers

We went to the Cobb County Teacher Retirement Luncheon this week. My husband is retiring and I wanted us to enjoy this recognition occasion. When we pulled into the parking lot, I couldn't help but notice the modest cars being exited by nicely dressed people in conservative attire. My heart was warmed by the realization that each of these 209 teachers had given a lifetime of service and were now being honored with a chicken dinner and a plaque, gifts that were tiny tokens of the enormous respect due for what had been accomplished in thousands of lives. Their service totaled more than 5,450 years. What an investment in educating our children.

I never felt more pride for my husband. He's the finest teacher I know and full of intelligence and creativity. He served 30 years in Cobb and another 4 in Marietta City, influencing thousands of young people. He has been a sponsor for Fellowship of Christian Athletes for 30 years too - and that ministry has had a high impact. He has accomplished much, and done it well. His service has been his ministry.

It was surreal to sit there and realize it's over. We don't feel old enough to be retiring and we anticipate many useful years ahead. Yet we believe God is calling us to something new. We're eager to find out what's next.

In the meantime, I am so deeply grateful to have spent my life as a teacher's wife.

Speeding Toward the Finish Line

When your child graduates from high school, it's a huge accomplishment... for the parents. I read today that having young children is physically demanding, but having teenagers is emotionally demanding. Amen, sista!

Perhaps the greatest pressure comes from the culture of these teenagers. If your child is in the midst of a generation obsessed with drinking, drugs, sexual immorality and lack of morals, you might think that sounds like every other generation. I can tell you that it's not. This group of "children" face more of everything than any generation in the past... more STDs, more AIDS, more binge drinking, more promiscuity, more drug addiction, more profanity... just more of everything.

And less of Jesus.

Sure, there are a few kids who have held on spiritually. But they are swimming up stream and need our support. And the kids swimming down stream need it even more. My husband and I are more convinced than ever that our call is to help young people. It's always been that way, but the need is more desperate now. An entire segment of our culture has shifted to the world.

So as I face the finish line of one part of life - and a sense of relief to have made it - I am also facing the starting line of another four years. And to combat the stress of thinking about that journey, I am looking up. I am focusing on the Lord and His amazing power to sustain my child. I am asking Him to get us all to the next finish line. And more than that, to get us there successfully. With Him.

The older I get...

... the less I know.

Sometimes I feel like really knowing God is something that becomes more and more elusive as I age. The deeper I go with Him, the more I realize His vastness. And my limited understanding. It's exciting, but perplexing.

How can I be at this stage of my spiritual journey and still be getting such rapid fire deep truths? Because God is so endless that no matter how far we go with Him, there is always more. Lots more.